I was honored to give the graduate commencement address at Shepherd University on May 10, 2025. My remarks, as written, are below. You can watch the remarks here – the speech is from about 21:15 – 29:44.
President Hendrix and members of the Shepherd University Board of Governors, thank you for this honor. Graduates, congratulations.
Over the past several years I have gotten to know Shepherd University. I’ve shared meals with faculty, administrators and students, spoken to classes, gave a Presidential Lecture last fall and am proud to serve on the Stubblefield Institute advisory board. Thank you for inviting me to be a part of your community.
Community is a complicated word. Universities often talk about themselves as a “community of scholars.” The Shepherd University website describes the school as a “tight knit community” with student clubs and organizations with “a strong emphasis on student community service.” The M.A. in Appalachian Studies is “specifically designed for community members.”
Shepherd is not alone, of course. Community is one of those generically positive and imprecise words that shows up in hiring ads and in speeches like this. There are community chest cards in Monopoly, community centers, community banks, and a sitcom called Community that ran from 2009 – 2015 in which a corrupt lawyer was punished by being sent to community college. None of which says what a community is.
One easy way to think about community is as some imagined “we” who need to come together to protect ourselves from some imagined “them” who don’t look, sound, pray, love, or vote like we do. That’s more like a Netflix zombie apocalypse series than a community. Another way some people think about community is a group that thinks, acts, and dresses alike. That’s a cult.
The problem with those definitions is that they are based on exclusion, the definitions say “they are not us.”
A positive definition of community is one that starts with who we are together, our connections, our humanity.
Community is the most human thing we do. The Greek philosopher Aristotle wrote that “man is a political animal.” He didn’t mean yard signs and endless TV ads. At least not so far as we know, he died close to 2500 years ago and we don’t have all of his writings. Aristotle said people need to be part of a community to flourish. The polis or the city was central to what it means to be human because being together is what humans, by nature, do.
More optimistic than zombies or cults, but not much more useful.
One way to make the word “community” useful is to think about it as a verb rather than a noun. It isn’t a place like the student center. A bunch of people huddled together in the Ram’s Den hiding from zombies isn’t a community, it’s lunch. Community isn’t a place in which we hide, it is something we build.
In this light, a community is like a garden. It is something we nurture and that nurtures us. Gardens need care and attention. The best gardens have different plants and species, they attract wildlife, bugs, bees and birds that in turn help foster and strengthen other gardens. Like a garden, a community is something we create and that creates us. We rely on gardens for food, we find solace in them, we work alone with our thoughts, and with friends and strangers during harvest. We till soil together. We sow and we reap.
It is fitting that Shepherdstown is Bee City, USA.
Lovely, but still not necessarily useful. So let’s get specific. Here are three ways to foster community.
First, Karen Wickre, author of Taking the Work Out of Networking, says she hates networking because it feels fake and transactional. Instead she remains genuinely curious about other people, and she likes to make connections. She has a lot of good advice, it’s a terrific book. One of my favorite tips is the importance of reaching out for no reason. If someone occurs to you, let them know. Text or call, send a DM or a postcard. “You were on my mind” is a good enough reason to drop someone a note. No one ever got upset that they got a random text from someone they haven’t heard from in a while. Nurture your garden.
Second, as Wicker writes “don’t talk yourself out of the help you need.” If you need ideas for recipes, vacations, a good mechanic, a job, career advice, a shoulder or an ear, whatever, ask. Reach into your network. Let people help you as you are willing to help others. Let your garden nurture you.
Third, one of my favorite approaches to community is the last minute invitation. Invite people to get together on the spur of the moment and for no reason. Say you’re ordering pizza and do they want to join. Call someone and say you’re going for a hike, or a picnic, or for jerk chicken at the Meck. They may say ‘no’ but asking matters, and they might even say yes. Enjoy and share your garden.
There are countless other ways to foster community. Join a recreational sports league or regular pickup game. Start or join a book or movie group. Volunteer at your church. You don’t have to pick the perfect thing, or the best thing, you just have to do something. Show up and invite others to join you. Authentically, honestly, and fully, show up. And when others show up, welcome them. Hand them a paintbrush or pass them the ball, ask what they’re reading or watching. Don’t ask what they do, who they voted for, or where they go to church. Offer them a seat at your table. Ask if they can help carry the load. Invite them to nurture and be nurtured by your garden. Invite them to flourish in community, because as Aristotle wrote more than 2,000 years ago, flourishing in a community is what it means to be human.
The only ways to fail are to do nothing, to pick the fruit but not turn the earth to take without giving, to lock the gate, or fail to make room at the table.
Thank you for this honor, and more importantly, thank you for inviting me into your community. I will treat it with the care it deserves, so your community can continue to care for others.
Congratulations.